


I Should Be Thinking Of Nothing Else When I'm With You

by thatchickwiththepigtails



Series: Cute Pokémon Guy [3]
Category: Paramore
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst, F/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pure Fun, and Alf, and by fun I mean depression, but can be read on its own, happening at the same time than I'm A Nervous Wreck, past Chad/Hayley, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatchickwiththepigtails/pseuds/thatchickwiththepigtails
Summary: Of course it was another notice from her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s lawyer, those were the only letters she was receiving lately; but he was already demanding the condo so, what else?Or that time Taylor got the guts to do it





	I Should Be Thinking Of Nothing Else When I'm With You

Hayley received the news at work when an official looking envelope arrived to the office, so she hurried herself with her customer and ran inside. Of course it was another notice from her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s lawyer, those were the only letters she was receiving lately; but he was already demanding the condo so, what else? She started to read with dread in her heart and a slight tremor in her hands.  
Well, shit.

This Hayley couldn’t handle by herself, so she requested an emergency meeting with her best friends at The Parachute, a pub they recently discovered. She could always count on Zach and Taylor to shit talk about her ex and cheer her up.  
They knew each other since high school and ten years later, they were still close like family. Sure, she and Taylor had their ups and downs; and for a couple years that Zach was out of town, they barely spoke; but honestly, what kind of friend cannot forgive and forget a stupid fight? It was them who helped her get through her business partner betrayal, while her then boyfriend would just repeat how much it sucked and look away.

So that night, sitting on a booth with beers in their hands and the place strangely quiet, Hayley explained the new developments of her divorce:  
“He wants Alf.”  
“Over my dead body” Zach muttered.  
“Can’t do it, can he?”  
“My lawyer warned me it could happen: people who don’t want their children custody but ask for it so they can fuck up the other person. Or, in this case, dog’s custody.”  
“Let him. The moment he realizes taking care of a dog actually takes him time from his not-doing-shit marathons he’ll bring you Alf back immediately” Taylor said, trying to comfort his best friend. But Zach replied:  
“Yeah, and meanwhile little baby Alfie Williams is gonna be in a strange house with a guy who won’t even look at him.”  
The conversation fell to a lull, the three of them lost to their thoughts of possible solutions. Barely two seconds after Hayley raised her hand towards the bar, had the bartender arrived with a new round of drinks and a worried expression:  
“Hey, I know I shouldn’t be listening but please go for whatever’s best for the dog, ok? Even if you don’t like it, don’t let them suffer.” And with that he disappeared to attend a newly arrived party of four, his face turning suddenly red.

The night died shortly afterwards, the air so tense it was unbearable. Hayley, having to work the next morning, left early. But the boys ended up in the front steps of Zach’s place, talking about some TV show Taylor just watched:  
“… And the guy’s like “It’s all about conditioner” so Hayley’s laughing because she swears he looks like he uses beer on his hair; which is totally a thing, by the way, she told me how her mum used it in the ‘80s to pump her hair and it looks super cool…”  
And about a new band he just started listening to:  
“… They are amazing, I swear. H took me to one of their shows and they sound so magical live! Hayley loves them, of course. But a guy next to us said they sounded like elevator music, and she almost ripped his face off. She’s fierce, man. But, I mean, I would defend them to almost death too…”  
But eventually they came back to the topic of Alf:  
“It would break her heart to lose him, I mean, I’m sure there’s no one else in the world that she likes more than baby Alfie.”  
“I don’t know, man, just give her time.”  
“Time to what?” a confused Taylor asked.  
“Time to love” Zach replied. “Don’t get me wrong, I know Alf is her little lovely son, and he’s my godson so I would hate her if she didn’t treat him as such. But I know Hayley will fall for you. Just give her a little time, okay? Divorce’s still fresh.”  
“F-for me? What? Why?”  
“Well, the spark’s always been there, right? You guys just never made the move. The way you were talking about her all the time, I always thought you’d be high school sweethearts” Zach started explaining. “But just wait for a bit, okay? After all this shit, she deserves to be single for a while.”  
“I don’t… I didn’t think…” Taylor let out a heavy sight, his cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t think I was that obvious like, really?”  
“Totally” Zach nodded rather fatherly.

But the thing was, now that he knew his secret was not completely a secret, Taylor would like for it to not be a secret at all. He was ready to tell Hayley she was the love of his life, but she suddenly was busier than she’d ever been: with lawyer appointments, and courses at the hair salon, and looking for a new apartment, and just pretending to be the responsible adult all of them were supposed to be… And he didn’t feel like confessing his feelings via text, although he’d written and saved it just in case.  
Zach and Taylor were back at The Parachute, waiting for Hayley. But this time the place was completely packed: there was a birthday, the bartender informed them, but it was not a private party so no problem. Besides, they found a spot to place their drinks so it’s all good.  
“You know what? I’m gonna tell her” they just arrived but Taylor was already on his second beer, his hands shaking with his sudden decision.  
Zach took a swing at his bottle and shrugged his shoulders:  
“Whatever, man. You shouldn’t yet, but good luck.”  
Hayley chose that moment to make her entrance and bury both of them with a bear hug, her small frame never stopped her from handling anybody the way she wanted.  
“Word on the door says this is all about some Patrick guy, you guys know him so we can become friends and have him pay all our drinks tonight?”  
“I think we know him as much as Blondie. He asked us if we were him” Taylor replied, providing insight on the nickname they gave to the ‘bouncer’.  
“Anyway,” Zach explained “apparently the friend we need to make is the owner. He’s showering his pals with free booze right now.”  
A whole minute had passed and the bartender hadn’t magically showed up with Hayley’s beer like he usually did, but when they looked at him, he had it ready to go on the tray. Zach decided to help him and went to get it, dropping it on their spot next to the door before hurrying himself to the bathroom.  
“So, wassup with my Zachie tonight? He seems jumpy” Hayley asked popping an olive in her mouth. Taylor inspired deeply before replying:  
“My fault, I want to tell you something but he thinks I shouldn’t.”  
Hayley rolled her eyes and leaned over the table with a conspiratory look in her eyes. ”You guys are keeping secrets from me? C’mon! That’s not funny anymore! No, it’s not. Tell me! Tell me! Tell me tell me TELL ME!”  
Taylor wanted to do this. He’d been waiting for this moment for weeks now; and his chest filled with renewed passion every time Hayley looked at him, every time she talked, every time she blinked, every time she existed. But he couldn’t find the words now. “It’s just that I… I think…” He turned his head, Zach was approaching them fast and Hayley’s eyes brightened as if she just remembered something. “H, I’m in love with you” he managed to get it out at the exact same time she exclaimed “I have something to tell you, guys!”  
“Did I miss anything important?” Zach asked upon arriving at the table. He couldn’t help but notice that Taylor’s eyes won’t leave the ground.  
“No, actually, I was waiting to have all my men here so I could tell you” Hayley flashed her brightest smile towards Zach before screaming at the top of her lungs “ALF IS ALL MINE, BABY!” And without losing a beat, she looked at Taylor and asked “Did you just say you love me?”  
Zach choked on his beer at the question, foam coming out of his nose and dripping down his chin. He made a quick excuse and went back to the bathroom, casting an accusatory glance at Taylor. The brunette's eyes were still fixated on the wooden floor.  
"Tay? Blackbear?" Hayley's voice was now filled with worry, watching the embarrassment turn his friend's cheeks ruby red. "Tay Hun, you do know I love you, do you?"  
"Yeah, I know; I love you, we love you. But I meant..." Taylor was terribly afraid of what he wanted to say, but nothing was gonna stop him, only an interruption from his friend.  
"But that's not what you just said. You said you are IN love with me, right?" her smile never left her, but it became sweeter, comforting him but demanding an answer as well.  
"I actually..." Taylor stuttered when he felt warmth, Hayley's hands surrounding his. "I... I did. I do! No, that sounds weird. I am." He exhaled, internally praying for his nerves to calm down. "I am in love with you, Hayley."  
"Oh my, that's... That's cool, so cool" now it was her time to be nervous, her whole face turning as red as her hair happened to be that month. "But I'm not, thought. In love."  
"Oh"  
"I don't mean it like a rejection! No way!" she screamed, tightening the grip on his hand. "You are so great, Taylor; you're literally the best person I have ever met. It's just, this came out of nowhere and I don't know what to say, you know? Let's have fun tonight and then we'll see, ok?"  
“Yes, fun, I am fun, I can do fun” Taylor recovered his smile, although a bit more tense, just in time to spot Zach approaching, his expression asking for permission to come back. “Let’s go crazy, crazy, crazy, man!”  
Taylor didn’t know what to expect after that: Hayley could be completely weirded out, avoiding him while giving him awkward looks, or she could just pretend nothing happened and keep on celebrating her lawyer’s victory. What he definitely didn’t expect was that she would do exactly as she said, having some real fun with him. She wanted to talk with Taylor; she wanted to make Taylor laugh; she wanted to dance only with Taylor. She even very casually flirted with Taylor, just a smile longer than usual, just a softer hand on his arm, just a warmer hug, an atrociously dirty joke.  
They were at the center of the bar dancing to a Bon Jovi song, or at least trying to. There is really no proper way to dance "It's My Life": you can sing at the top of your lungs, you can headbang, do some air guitar, but no one can dance to it. That's why Hayley suggested they'd go play some darts.  
"But I don't know how to play!"  
"Pick up the dart and throw it!"  
"My aim is shit."  
"Then watch and learn, baby" and with that, she approached the two guys who were already playing. "Excuse me gentlemen, would you allow me to kick your ass in this fine night?"  
Taylor went to sit on top of a table nearby and observed them play: one of the guys, the one with ginger hair, was completely focused on the game, getting perfect scores without even aiming. The second one was simply doing his best at using his afro hair to hide his blush; either he was embarrassed at how badly he was doing, or his boyfriend's skill was a kink of his.  
Hayley was... Just decent. She was no master of the game like Mr. I-Can't-Get-A-Tattoo-Cause-I-Don't-Have-Any-More-Bare-Skin; but at least her darts were going into the board, unlike poor Lord of Giggles. Every time she got a decent score she would turn around and blow Taylor a kiss. How wouldn't she? She didn't lie, she wasn't in love. But she was love-deprived and there's no way to deny she was curious about the what-ifs. What if she had asked him out on sophomore year before chickening out? What if she'd never met her ex?  
The red haired girl turned unexpectedly and caught him staring at the floor, swinging his legs that could barely reach the ground, chewing on his pouty bottom lip. She came closer; resting both hands on either side of his legs, and gave Taylor a lopsided grin while asking:  
"How did I do?"  
"You're not the worst" he replied, his hand instinctively flying to play with one of his loose curls. Her eyes went straight to his mouth before rapidly adverting towards his hazel brown eyes. She could count every single one of those dark, fake-like lashes. But she did not, she had better things to do.  
"Gosh, Taybear, you're so fucking beautif..."  
Hayley was suddenly interrupted by a mouth over hers. So soft, so quick, so small it felt as if it didn't happen. But when Taylor drew himself away, she could still feel a tang of electricity running through her body. She smiled once again:  
"See? I told you we could have a fun night."  
The night kept going on that same pace of playing, dancing, kissing, singing, forgetting about Zach, finding Zach again, making Zach feel a bit uncomfortable with their makeout, and even more dancing.

Three days after, Hayley greeted Taylor with a kiss on the cheek when he aimed at her mouth. It was all so new she would sometimes forget they had this thing going on.

A couple weeks later Taylor went to visit her at the hair salon, a single dandelion in his hands and the brightest smile on his face. "I'd be so lucky if I could have him" was the first thought that crossed Hayley's mind. "Wait..."

They had been dating for almost three months and Taylor couldn't be happier: he was with his favorite girl in the world; they were enjoying their time together, just letting things flow, not rushing anything. But he wasn't as oblivious as he seemed, he knew something was wrong for Hayley, something she didn't talk about. And he was okay with her figuring whatever on her own, but if this affected their still young relationship, Taylor felt he deserved to know.  
So one afternoon walking down the park with Alf, when she was once again excitedly talking about a new art exhibition in town but getting distracted when he wanted to reply, he couldn't hold it anymore:  
"What's going on with you?"  
"What do you mean what's going on with me?"  
The conversation quickly heated up; with Taylor feeling hurt from the indifference Hayley treated him from time to time, and her screaming about not being able to express herself.  
"Well, if I'm such an asshole, why don't you get the fuck out of this?"  
“Because you’re an asshole worth fighting for!”  
“WELL, MAYBE I’M NOT!” Hayley clasped her hands over her mouth immediately after shouting this; she had surprised herself admitting her fears.  
Taylor tried to hold her arm. “Yes you a-“  
“NO I’M NOT” with a strong pull, she escaped from his grasp. “I can’t be. I can’t…” She tried to control her sobbing, but her voice kept breaking anyway. “I ca-can’t be who you want me to be. I can’t do it. I can’t do…” Her voice was nothing but a whisper. “I can’t do this. Not now.”  
“What do you mean?” He was starting to look very scared, fully knowing what Hayley meant.  
“I should be thinking of nothing else when I’m with you, Taylor. I want to, but I can’t. He is still in my head. I’ve got to let him go before I let you in.”  
“I’ll wait for you.”  
“You shouldn’t.”  
“But I want to.”  
“And I want you to. Goodbye, Tay. See you soon” flashing him one last smile, she commanded the dog that had been sitting quietly, almost as if listening. “C’mon, let’s go.”  
He stood there, next to their bench, sweating under the sticky bright Sun of July, until both Hayley and Alf were nothing but a spot in the distance. He was feeling numb, wishing he could cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. “It never is a goodbye.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Bastille's "Send Them Off!"  
> That song hit me hard when it came out and it's been stuck in my head since then, so now suffer with me


End file.
